Here We Go Again

It's been a few days since I've posted, and it's not even because I'm lazy. I have a whole list of posts to write about products people have emailed me about and how to make a fabulous Sunday roast. No, no, I'm not procrastinating. I have been having a mommy moment. Thursday was the day I took my littlest boy in to the pediatric gastroenterologist for a consult for a celiac diagnosis. And I'm in the mulling zone. We go in for a biopsy on Tuesday, to confirm some suspicious symptoms that aren't even mainstream. To be honest, I'm not upset, anxious, or even angry about it. I don't even think I'm sad. I'm actually kind of peaceful about the whole thing. Which is weird, given my tendency to overreact in the most benign of situations. But, I'm here to throw the cliche in your face: Knowledge is power.

Given the fact that I have been eating gluten free for almost eight years now, I am pretty comfortable with wheat free food. I grumble about the cost and roll my eyes when they get my order wrong at a restaurant, but on the whole I feel so good that it outweighs the inconvenience. And now that I'm thinking that one of my little guys needs the same things I do and feels crappy like I used to, I feel slightly advantaged with all my recipes and understanding. I have no doubt that if Sam's biopsy comes back positive I will feel relieved. As we prepare for the testing, I remember my own apprehension and can't help but think: here we go again.

I learned some interesting things at the doctor's office. Our doctor, who happens to be NOT fresh out of medical school(read: experienced, highly recommended and ultra intuitive), cares for over 400 pediatric celiac patients, so I'm thinking she knows what she's talking about. She told me the most reliable symptom in pediatric celiac patients is grumpiness. I was so surprised! I told her that my son's nickname at home was Hades, after the guy with flaming hair in Hercules, and she laughed. We have joked about Sam's rage for about three years now. He also has a problem with constipation (not diarrhea...also interesting), and, another new tidbit of knowledge for me since I never take my children in for well-child checkups (this is only funny to JoLayna and Anna, I know), he is in the 10th percentile for weight. I had no idea. He also has a first degree relative with celiac's and blond hair and blue eyes. (Not a symptom, but could be an indicator.) So, lots of things point towards a celiac diagnosis for us.

But here's the kicker. I think I was getting a little worked up about the doctor's appointment and told my friend Anna about it and she gave me the best perspective on the whole thing. She said, "If he doesn't have it, that is great news, because he can eat whatever he wants and be normal and happy and never have to think for a minute about food. But, if he does, then hallelujah! Because he can get the food that will help him grow and he'll be happy and feel normal and only have to change a few things he eats because you already know what to feed him. So no matter what the test says it's all good news." This is so true. Appreciating the fact that I have a son who loves me and is smart and talented and great at building Legos and wants to be an artist when he grows up is the thing to focus on here. My job as the mommy is to help him be the very best Sam that he can be. That's my goal, bringing back the smile that I used to see all the time. And the songs. And the smooches. I read this post by a mom whose daughter struggles with a lot more than just celiac's disease, and I was truly grateful for the easy path that I have before me. I truly hope some mom out there is reading my posts and feeling like she is able to give more to her little buddy or tiny princess with my ideas. I may have to get some ideas from you, too.

Happy eating!